Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Go away empty nest syndrome

Now that my last little birdie has flown the coop things seems rather strange. The last week or so I’ve been trying to put my finger on why I’ve felt so tired, so listless, so lifeless of late. I’m not sure when it began but at least now I think I know what it is...that creepy little phenomenon called “empty nest syndrome”, aptly named for it involves an empty, sad and lonely feeling. It’s ironic in a way because when my kids were young and still in “let's-drive-mom-crazy” mode I used to dream about the day they'd all be grown and I’d be “free”, free from the every day chaos, free from the overwhelming responsibility, free from...them. And if anyone ever mentioned "ens"  in my presence I would laugh and joke (and fully believe) that I’d never be cursed with such a thing and when the time came for my birdies to fly away I’d be perfectly fine, just dandy, kind of free as a bird myself. Boy was I smug…and wrong. Recently I’ve read up on the “whats and whys and how to get rid ofs” this syndrome but sadly there doesn’t seem to be an instant fix or cure.

It’s something that’s going to take time and effort on my part with a few “have tos” along the way. Have to keep busy and resist the urge to call, email, or contact my offspring every single day, because I know the more I cling the less likely they’ll want to be in contact with me and that…I just can’t fathom. (I'm gonna need some luck with this one). Have to learn not to smother or control or try and direct their lives. (Because it is their lives and not mine). Have to understand that as much as I dislike the sadness that creeps up now and then from their absence I definitely do not want “boomerang children". (A whole other conundrum a parent can face). Have to lighten up and remember they are all capable adults, and good ones. (They don't need -- or want my advice all the time). Have to accept it’s time to transfer responsibility for their lives from me to them. (Because that's how it should be). And maybe most important of all to rid myself of this empty nest syndrome -- have to believe "this too shall pass" because as the quiet Beatle sings in his song below, it must.

George Harrison - All Things Must Pass .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What a touching post. Sounds like you've really enjoyed motherhood.

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