Happy Birthday Big Brother!

Today is Jeff’s 54th birthday. I could go on and on about what a great brother I think he is -- No, what a great brother I KNOW he is…but I’ll just say this. My big brother has the biggest heart of any guy I know and he’s always there when you need him. Jeff’s not only a wonderful brother; he's a wonderful person. He reminds me a lot of our dad. :) Happy Birthday Sneffke! I love you!!! 

Jeff making ice cream when he was about three

Jeff about four years later (with his little sis, me)

All Things Will

I’ll never forget the first time I heard Will Johnson sing. I was at home listening to streaming radio on my computer and getting ready to go out for the evening when I heard a man’s unusual voice. I suddenly stopped and thought to myself “who in the world…?”  I looked at the screen to see who it was and thought “wow, he’s different and I like him…a lot.”  That “like” of Will Johnson and his music in time turned into an enduring love and appreciation for this underappreciated singer/songwriter. What I heard on my computer that evening was called “Just to Know What You’ve Been Dreaming” (listen below).



A pretty and romantic song, yes -- but it wasn’t so much the song that grabbed my attention as it was the emotion and singing style of the artist singing it. I’ve since heard album after album of Will’s music and have to say he’s one of my favorite artists and one with an ability to invoke raw feeling. Some people (and they know who they are) like to tease and say I love “sad bastard” music, meaning slow and morose type songs (you know, the kind you could cut your wrist by). While I have to admit that yeah sometimes that is true I also appreciate variety a great deal and that's exactly what I get from multifaceted Will Johnson. He’s a true talent, a solo performer who doesn’t just write meaningful songs; he’s also the front man for his two bands, Centro-matic and South San Gabriel. Centro-matic, with the same four members for fifteen years, is the slightly more rock of the two. South San Gabriel includes the same members, plus various rotating guests and is more of an outlet for Will’s quieter introspective songs. Whether he’s playing music solo or with one of his two bands, with Will Johnson…it’s all good.

I’ll never forget the first time I saw Will Johnson perform live. A few years back, Mark and I drove to Kansas City with the sole intention of seeing the band “The Bottle Rockets”, which we did. But when we discovered Centro-matic was playing the same night across the state line, we knew we had to somehow see both bands. Lucky for us the Bottle Rockets played an early show so after catching them in KC (KS) we hopped in the car and rushed to see Centro-matic at a place called The Record Bar in KC (MO). We made it in “record” time and a short while later in walked the subject of this post. I had never seen Will Johnson in person before but knew it was him right away. He came in quietly and unpretentiously blended with the crowd and seemed happy just to be there. Will’s music isn’t the only thing I like and admire about him. I like the fact that he’s friendly, approachable, and just a regular guy. He’s a man of small stature (literally) but after seeing him perform with his band Centro-matic that night he couldn’t have been any larger in my eyes. They were great then and they’ve been great the many times we’ve seen them since.

After witnessing much live music the last few years it’s amazing to me the quantity of untapped musical talent there is out there. And what I find even more amazing is that many mainstream and famous artists today don’t hold even a smidgen of the talent of someone like Will Johnson. Somehow that doesn’t seem right but something tells me Will probably doesn’t mind too much. I think he’s happy being a regular guy writing remarkable songs, performing with his bands, kicking his leg up, and singing with all the heart and soul he alone owns. Oh and how very happy that makes me.

Centro-matic the band
http://www.centro-matic.com/







Will singing the song “Atlanta” in his characteristically heartfelt way.

2007 - Will and Mark, taken at the Record Bar in KC, the first time we saw Centro-matic

Will and I

(at Off Broadway in St. Louis)

If I could add one line to Will’s song “Just To Know What You’ve Been Dreaming”, a line that sums up my feelings for his music...it would be:

I would walk a thousand miles just to hear what you’ve been singing…

The Dog Page

Ok, I admit it; I'm a little ate up with dogs. And that's the reason why I've created "The Dog Page" (right column) -- a place where I can post dog-related videos, pictures, etc.

The first item on the page is a little video made over a year ago. It stars Daisy, Winnie, and Lola (the orig. three stooges). Watching it makes me recall with a smile the many "battles of the bone" between the three of them. Whether they each had their own bone or not, they'd always end up fighting over the same one. (Video includes music so if you're at work it may be a good idea to turn your sound down before clicking).

The page will be updated sporadically so check back once in a while for all things dog related. ruff...

a dog named Winnie

I love dogs. I always have. Life with them can be challenging at times but always interesting. The thing I love most about dogs is, like people, they have their own quirks and personalities. I know a dog name Winnie who has plenty of both.
 
Winnie entered my life as a kind of fluke, a simple twist of fate you might say. One day at work (many moons ago) my co-worker Paula was browsing the Internet looking for her mom a dog. It was slow that day and being a bit bored I decided to help her look. I went to http://www.petfinder.com/ and as I sat scrolling merrily along a rather odd looking critter caught my eye. Actually, not just odd looking; more like downright ugly. I thought to myself “What the heck kind of dog is THAT?” I called Paula over to my desk and we both had a good chuckle over its picture. It looked like a rather small dog with wild straggly hair and a head way too big for its body. And its eyes...they were barely discernable, almost like it didn’t have any. After my initial amusement, and the more I sat and looked at it, the sorrier I began to feel for this creature. I thought “Who in the world is going to adopt this strange dog named Winnie?”  hmmm, who indeed.

It was never my plan to get a second dog. I have a friend who thinks nothing of living with 3 or 4 dogs. Not me. I'd always lived with only one at a time. But there was something about this dog and after reading she would be at PetSmart’s “Adopt-A-Pet-Day” the following Saturday I completely forgot about finding a dog for Paula's mom. I was going to PetSmart! That fateful Saturday found me there bright and early standing in line with other pet parent wannabes. I thought it amusing we had all arrived before the pets. We weren’t excited! :)  Suddenly I wondered if others were waiting in line for Winnie too, a little competition maybe?

Finally a couple vans pulled up outside PetSmart and still waiting with anticipation I watched as one by one the critters were brought in. I kept thinking “Winnie’s just got to be next.”  But no, dog after dog came through the door (and some very cute dogs at that) but no Winnie. Finally after convincing myself I had the date or place wrong, one last woman came in, or I should say was heaved in by a big hairy over-exuberant beast dog?! My first thought was “No, that can’t be my Winnie!”  This dog was too big, too strong, too boisterous, too crazy!!! But I was wrong. It was Winnie, the one and only dog of her kind. What kind I’m not sure. All I knew was she was a force to be reckoned with and much bigger than her picture had led me to believe. All of a sudden it hit me; her head wasn’t too big for her body at all. It was actually quite proportionate with the rest of her.

As I said, I love dogs, all shapes, all sizes but the funny thing is I had never had a large dog before, ever. My previous pets were all pretty much poodle-sized (and not the Standard kind). So when I first eyed Winnie I was taken aback and felt deceived…she was not the small creature with an oversized head so deserving of my pity. It was the camera angle that fooled me. And though she did have wild crazy hair she really wasn’t all that ugly. How strangely disappointed was I that she wasn't as pitiful as her picture? Disappointed enough to consider leaving without giving her a second thought. And as I turned to do so, I looked back and saw her, along with the other dogs, being put into separate cages for all to eww and aww over. I hesitated and quickly realized no one else was going to give Winnie a second thought either. Of all the dogs, she was the only one not being taken out to be checked out, petted, played with. Dogs smaller and dogs larger were being considered but not Winnie. My heart sank as she lost her earlier exuberance and sat still and unnoticed in her cage. And the look on her face? How could no one see it? Winnie to this day can still get that same look, a look that can bore through you, a look that hurts. That day I knew by her expression she understood she was being passed over…again. Suddenly, I found myself debating whether to leave the store empty handed...or not. Thoughts danced around my head…could I handle a dog like her, is she really too big, did I just feel sorry for her, would it be a mistake, should I check her out, should I escape now before it’s too late, what oh what should I do? My undoing was that look. I couldn’t get it out of my head.

So I stayed and I asked an assistant to bring Winnie out of her cage. I told myself that if this was a good dog (no matter her size, or her looks), I’d give her a chance and I’d take her home. Well, imagine my surprise when this creature, who appeared so forlorn and alone in her cage, suddenly sprang to life again -- like a rocket! She pulled me through the aisles so hard I thought my arm would surely fall off. I'm sure my feet left the ground. As I tried to reign Winnie in, calm her down, make eye contact, get to know her, etc, she continued to burst with joy at being free (or as free as she was going to get in a PetSmart store). After having enough of this and thinking WHOA, no way can I handle this one… she suddenly settled down. I’m not sure why. Maybe she sensed my displeasure with her behavior or maybe she just wore herself out. Whatever the reason, I was finally able to bend down and meet her eye to eye and what I saw look back at me was an incredibly sweet dog just a bit too excitable for her own good. I wondered if that had been her undoing. If that’s why at two years old she was still (or possibly once again) homeless.

Fast forward nine or so years and Winnie is still incredibly sweet. She’s a dog that’s eager to please but doesn't always know how. The first day I brought her home I discovered she was a fence jumper. And not because she wants to run away. But because she wants to run. It's in her blood. It's her favorite thing to do and she never wants to stop. Winnie is older now but still a trickster who will bolt out the door when you least expect it. And she's a game player who loves nothing more than looking in the door from the outside, pretending to want  in, and as soon as you get up to let her in, takes off running again. Winnie is many things. She's a sensitive dog so petrified of storms that she will hide shaking under the bed for hours. She's also a pure-hearted, goofy, spirited, big lug of a dog, a gentle soul that loves people and has never hurt a living thing. Simply put she's a good dog that wants and deserves to be loved.

I nearly gave Winnie up after she and I left PetSmart that day. After a couple months I almost decided she was too much for me and I almost broke my commitment to her. I went so far as to contact the shelter she came from and when they said they’d love to take her back I remember feeling relieved. But something happened the day I was to take her back. I’m not sure what. All I know is I couldn’t give up on her and after all these years she’s still with me. Sometimes the best dogs get the least attention and that's always been true of Winnie. I know she still doesn't get the attention she deserves, maybe in part because she is so undemanding of it. She's an unselfish dog always willing to take second place. She's a dog that deserves to be first. Sometimes I wonder if by adopting Winnie all those years ago I unknowingly did her an injustice. Sometimes I wonder if she had gone home with someone else would she have been happier? Would she be living on a farm and running free in the country somewhere right now? But then I remind myself that when she does jump the fence or bolts out the door she always comes back to me. And the crazy thing is of all the places she runs she never runs far.

This is Winnie, a beautiful dog, inside and out.

Winnie and a baby Lola competing in a

"fiercest face" contest...I think Winnie won.

aww, you know Winnie has a soft heart

when she can love even a stinker like Lola. :)

Fun time at the ballpark

Though I’m not a baseball follower going to a Cardinals’ game last night with Jake was great fun. It turned out to be an exciting game with the Cards making a comeback and beating the Braves 4-3. Busch Stadium, with its very cool panoramic view of the downtown skyline, is something to behold. It’s a beautiful thing.

Contagious fans, company box, ballpark hotdogs, and being with my son on a brisk but beautiful April night…it couldn’t have been any more fun.

the "sort of still new" Busch stadium

my boss Mark (red cap) and his son Zack

everyone should have a boss like Mark :)

views from inside the company box

outside the box with Paula, Kyle, and Jake

Happy Birthday Thursday's Child

According to the old nursery rhyme
Monday’s Child ...Thursday’s child has far to go. This post is for a special person born on a Thursday that’s come a long way already. Happy Birthday Deb!

"Wanted" by Perry Como was the #1 song in the US on April 22, 1954 and #2 on the Hit Parade.

Who could ask for anything more?

Beautiful blue skies, serene country, wonderful weather, good wine, lovely log cabin...who could ask for anything more? Slideshow and clips below are from this past Saturday at http://www.chaumette.com/ and http://www.charlevillevineyard.com/ in Ste. Genevieve. What a fantastic birthday gift. Thank you Mark. :)


On our way to Ste. G. (I think someone was driving just a wee bit fast).


Crystal clear stream just down the road from Charleville Vineyards.


Charleville Vineyards, a 360 degree view.


Mark and one of his famous bird calls.

a brother and sister day

Life these days can be hectic and hurried and it’s not often Jeff, Mel, and I get to enjoy a beautiful day together. That’s why when we do it means so much. Below are some pics and a little clip from a recent Sunday in Grafton with my brother and sister.

This Grafton homeowner is determined to avoid future floods.

It’s April but already feels like June at The Loading Dock.






 



Jeff enjoying a well-deserved day of sun and relaxation.

That’s Jeff and Mel on the bike ahead.








  



Mel thought she'd be scared riding on back, but I don’t know, she doesn't look real scared to me. :)

Through the decades

Today is my 49th birthday and as the years pass and turn into decades I realize more and more how each decade is unique in its own way and how fortunate I am to have lived each one. Thank you God.

***
60s – I don’t recall much about the 60s, other than little things like waiting excitedly for dad to come home from work every day with a pack of sugar babies in his pocket (just for me), eating the crème out of Oreo cookies and receiving a spanking for pitching the wafer (again just for me), moving from Warnock to Thorngate at age 5, crying on my first day of kindergarten, and always wanting to be by my mom’s side. That’s about the extent of my memory from this decade.

1964 – a finger, a cake, and a time 
when I didn't mind exposing my butt (ha ha)









  

***

70s – The 70s are filled with memories, me a gawky teen, rock concerts (when Mel and Bob allowed me to tag along -- ahh the Superjams... strange smells permeating the air, the hippies, the freakiness), feelings of big changes coming, parents divorcing, fads (maxis, platforms, clogs, low rise, bell bottoms, fringe, overalls, halter tops, shag haircuts), Loves Baby Soft perfume, Charlie’s Angels, Cheech & Chong, Wolfman Jack, Vietnam, Kent State, Watergate, the death of Elvis, going to Jamaica at 14, my first car at 16 (a black bug), hating high school, starting/stopping college, and probably the biggest thing for me... getting married in '78 to the father of my future children. What a crazy busy decade it was.

1976 – those crazy 70s












***
80s – In Edwardsville most of this decade raising Mandy (born in 80) and then five years later Jake and Emily (born in 85). Life was marriage, babies, and being a stay at home mom. It was a good time but also a time of feeling torn about my role in life. Thinking I should do more than stay home I went to business school and then worked for a patent and trademark attorney for a year. Balancing work and kids was hard and prying Mandy off my leg every morning at daycare made me cry more than once on my way to work. Feeling guilty, I went back to being a full-time mom...until 1987 that is, when things changed for our family in a big way. “Said, Californy is the place you oughta be…so we loaded up the truck and we moved to Beverly…”  Well, not Beverly Hills exactly but just an hour from there...Irvine, CA, to open a printing business and usher out the 80s.

early '81 – my beautiful baby Mandy












*** 
90s – Goodbye palm trees, hello smoke stacks. After living the southern CA life for a couple years it was time to return home. Not to Edwardsville this time but back to the steel mill town I was born. The 90s for me was an uneasy decade of divorce, single momness, headstrong kids, new job, new house, new relationships, new breakups, more guilt, and sometimes fear. Looking back I don’t know what I would have done without my mom (my kids' second mom). She was there when we needed her most (a fact she loves to remind me of at times). And she truly deserves much of the credit for the pride I take in my kids today (a fact I fail to remind her of all of the time). Overall the 90s was a decade of bumps, bruises, and learning along the way and I don’t think I’d change it even if I could. Every year and every decade that passes evolves us a little more into who we are. I think the 90s were very formative years for my kids and for me.

1994 - me and my three pride and joys












*** 
00s – Wow, did we really just finish the 00s? What a strange thought indeed. Remember how it began, with the “Year 2000” problem? When all our computers were supposed to blow up in our face...or something like that? Thank God that didn’t happen. One event that will always stand out about this decade is the horrific 911. Like most everyone else, I remember exactly where I was when the first plane struck. In that moment life became dark and different. Some of my personal memories of the decade include Mandy graduating college, Jake and Emily graduating high school, and myself coming full circle when I unexpectedly (and happily) found love with a childhood acquaintance. Losing dad in 09 was the hardest part of this decade for me but I’ll always be grateful for the privilege of sharing 9-1/2 years of it with him.

2007 – dad and I celebrating our birthday together









***
10s – A new decade has begun and who knows what the next ten years will hold. I have high hopes for it though...a big one being that I’m still here to reflect on it when it’s over. I'm very much looking forward to doing just that.

2010 – only the beginning

She's back...

Lola, a few days after her rabies shot

After being stuck with a big bad needle last week and suffering a scary (and long lasting) reaction, little Lola has finally bounced back. I was worried about my grand-dog-ter for a while there but am happy to report she’s once again her yippy yappy sassy old self. Welcome back Lola. :)

a birthday wish for dad

Today would have been dad’s 86th birthday. Dad and I always celebrated our birthdays together since they were just two days apart. I’m going to miss doing that with him this year. Last year for his birthday I gave him a homemade booklet filled with images and events of life in 1924, the year he was born. As he sat in his favorite chair perusing it slowly I wondered if it brought back special memories of earlier times. I hoped it did and that they were good ones. Dad is in my thoughts and heart every day and I’d like to take this moment to wish him with the utmost love a "Happy Birthday" above.

what a great song

"Hey Jake" this song's for you. :)


1968 - Beatles rehearsal - "Hey Jude" in the making


2009 - Paul McCartney and various singers at Royal Albert Hall,
to help the Montserrat's people. Phil Collins on drums.

A band called Midlake

St. Louis' very own Old Rockhouse (http://oldrockhouse.com/) has been newly...(and coolly) revamped. They've had some very cool bands of late, quite an improvement over their previous bookings. I'm looking forward to seeing a band called Midlake play there on May 15. Midlake is a band from Denton, Texas, a place I've never been but am familiar with due to it being the hometown of one of my favorite musicians, Will Johnson. Don't get me started on Will. :)

Midlake was formed in 1999 by a group of University of North Texas jazz students heavily influenced by Herbie Hancock. By their own accord they were jazz musicians that from the start never really played jazz music. They've been said to lean toward an indie sound but personally I don't hear that. Their music is hard to describe and impossible to pigeonhole and I think that's one of the things I appreciate most about them. They have a different sound for sure. Some say it's sort of exotic, dreamy. One description I read was "shimmering with melodic swirls that feature tight, almost orchestral vocals and grand storytelling. I would say yeah that sounds about right.

I remember listening to their 2006 album "The Trials of Van Occupanther,"....really listening, not just to their different sound, but mostly to their words. The album is chock full of great storytelling. Wikipedia describes the acclaimed album as "a suite of lush, heavily melodic songs laden with multi-part harmonies, given evocative lyrical imagery set in woodlands, boats and log cabins, telling oblique but moving tales of pioneering, travel and isolation." How true how true. When I hear songs such as Roscoe, Head Home, Young Bride, Branches, they take me to another place where I can see for myself those pioneers, their travels, and imagine their lives so totally different than my own. It's a nice place to visit once in a while.

Midlake's new album, released in February, is called "The Courage of Others." So far I've only had a chance to listen to a couple of the songs from the album but I can definitely say I'm still a big fan and know that as May gets closer I'll be getting more and more excited to see them live. To a person that doesn't get excited all that easily that means a heckuva lot.

To listen to some songs from "The Trials of Van Occupanther" click on My Music Room (right column). I think my favorite song from the album may be Young Bride. I love how the words and beautiful violin emote the sadness and despair of the young girl in this story, yet somehow the song still manages to warm my heart.

The danger of rabies shots

Emily's dog Lola was taken to the emergency animal hospital tonight, all because of a yearly required rabies shot. Some dogs have terrible and even life threatening reactions to rabies shots. Lola is one of those dogs. The poor thing has suffered miserably since her 11am appt this morning. It's now very late and she's finally settled down...I'm hoping for the night so we can all get some much needed sleep. I've never known a dog to react as Lola has but as I looked up rabies shots and their possible side effects tonight I've learned there are surprisingly many dogs who suffer symptoms such as the ones in the post below. I found the informative video included in the post very interesting.  Anyone who has ever loved a pet should watch it.

Symptoms of Rabies Shots Problem in Dogs
Posted By Nancy Houser on May 27, 2009

Most people do not think of the many side effects and dangers of rabies shots in dogs, recognizing even less the symptoms of rabies shots problems in dogs. Unfortunately, they can be life threatening and dangerous to our family pets so knowing what they are may save your pet’s life.

If your dog is showing symptoms after getting their rabies shot: breathing heavily, his face is swelling and eyes watering, and/or the animal is vomiting–it may be having a reaction which can be potentially a life-threatening allergic reaction. Immediate attention and action should be given.

CALL YOUR VET IMMEDIATELY for the FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS!

Immediately or up to 3 days after the shot:
Vomiting
Facial swelling
Fever or lethargy
Circulatory shock
Loss of consciousness
Death

Days, weeks or months after the shot:
Fibrosarcoma (cancer) at the injection site
Seizures and Epilepsy
Allergies
Autoimmune diseases, including organ disease, allergies and skin problems
Chronic digestive problems
Muscle weakness, especially lack of hind end coordination
Chronic digestive disorders
Skin diseases like Ischemic Dermatopathy / Cutaneous vasculitis
Behavior problems: aggression, destructive behaviors, separation anxiety and odd obsessive behaviors (like tail chasing and paw licking)

Easter and Spring

Today is the first Easter without dad. My dad always loved this time of year -- springtime, when the dead of winter was finally over and everything was suddenly alive and anew again. Dad loved spring for green trees and blue skies, chirping/singing birds, pretty vibrant flowers, the warmth and brightness of the sun, for so many things. Though I miss him terribly I know he is somewhere now even more wonderful than spring. I can picture him there walking upright and without a cane, his hair dark and face young again, his ears able to hear every little sound, his mind strong and clear, and his heart feeling the sweet peace of finding his way home. Happy Easter Dad! I love you.

A groovy kind of blog

Here's a fun blog with some great free music recorded in the 60s. I downloaded Tim Buckley's
"The Peel Sessions" and my ears are enjoying it very much.

Thanks to Heli0tr0pe for this one.
http://heavysugarradio.blogspot.com/

For a daily appreciation of the curvy cat...

"Wow, cool overalls." That was my first thought when stumbling across this cute and curvaceous cat from the charming little blog:  http://fatcatlover.blogspot.com/. My second thought was how much it reminded me of ummm...ahem...a particularly curvy cat I know (...and no, it's name does not rhyme with "juicy"). Well ok, maybe it does. :)

Rest in peace sweet Daisy

With tears in our eyes and love in our heart we said goodbye to our sweet Daisy. Though she's no longer living among us and home feels vacant without her there is comfort in believing she's now with her momma Lacey -- happy and healthy again, full of spirit, all smiling eyes and wagging tail, knowing in her heart she'll see us again someday. I love what James Herriot, the late British author and veterinarian had to say in his story “The Card Over the Bed."  He writes of an old woman whose only fear is that she may never be reunited with her animals after death because some people say animals have no soul. Holding the old woman’s hand, Herriot replies:

"If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty
and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of
humans. You've nothing to worry about there."
He goes on to note regarding animals
joining their masters in the afterlife:
"I do believe it. With all my heart I believe it."

I believe it too.

1994 - Lacey

Daisy looked so like her momma

1996 - best buds Jake and Daisy napping

1996 - Emily and one-year-old Daisy

November 7, 1995 - March 30, 2010
Rest in peace sweet Daisy.

Thanks Uncle Conrad

My Uncle Conrad is one of my dad’s (if I’m not mistaken) nine brothers. He is also what I consider to be our family’s leading historian and I would like to thank him dearly for that. Every family reunion, year after year, would find him with video camera in hand. You couldn’t escape Uncle Conrad. Whether you wanted to be videotaped or not…you were. He filmed everything but it wasn’t just images and motion on film he captured, it was much more. With his narration and ongoing comments he allowed us to understand and have an everlasting view into a loved ones soul. Recently I had the opportunity to see for myself some of his videotapes and words cannot express what it's meant to me personally to see my dad’s smile and hear his voice once again. Knowing that I’ll always have moments of my dad’s life on film is very comforting. Shortly after his passing my sister told me that she feared as time went on we would forget the little things about dad, important every day things that made him who he was to us. I understood that fear because no matter how much you love someone time does have a cruel way of fading and dimming treasured memories. Thanks to my dear uncle’s consistent devotion to documenting our family history, I don’t worry about that as much anymore. I’ve finally realized that the pictures and film taken in life are our way of keeping loved ones alive. They are our legacy to be passed down generation after generation keeping our own essence here long after we’re gone. I think my Uncle Conrad has always realized that. Thanks Unc Con :)

I took this snapshot of my uncle in Cobden, IL - February 2010

Below is a lil' clip of one of his old movies. For more, click "OLD MOVIES Room" on right sidebar.


Visiting grandpa and grandma in the country – 1964
aunts, uncles, cousins, etc (little blonde girl in the black coat is me)

I love Jimmy Stewart

...and I love this poem. :*(

It's a Boy! (I always did like puppy dog tails) :)

Sweet Baby Blue - It’s a boy! It’ll be a while before I have the honor of meeting the little fella but oh how I’m going to love this little bundle of joy! I can already picture in my mind Jake holding and rocking his son while he sings to him the song below. Congrats Erin and Jake!


Beautiful Boy by John Lennon

snips and snails or sugar and spice?

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails 
That's what little boys are made of!"
What are little girls made of?
"Sugar and spice and all things nice
That's what little girls are made of!"

Later today I'll get the call telling me if my first grandbaby is a boy or girl. Until then, it's a long day of sitting on pins and needles for me. Can’t wait! :)

A day in Grafton

Half-tuck and I played hooky last Friday and with it being a nice day decided to venture into Grafton. Something about the river road always makes it feel as if I’m further away from home than I really am. It’s a close getaway that doesn’t feel that close…maybe it’s the river, the bluffs, the spaciousness of it all, or maybe it’s just escaping a dirty steel mill town for a few hours. I don't know but it feels good and I’m looking forward to returning at least a few more times this year.

How do you know when it’s time?

My veterinarian and others say when it’s time I’ll know. But how will I know? This nagging thought plays through my mind more and more these days as Daisy's health steadily declines. Important decisions can be difficult to make when you see life more in black and white than shades of gray. The question of euthanizing a beloved pet is very much a gray area to me and I feel torn between wanting Daisy to live life yet not wanting her to live a life that’s becoming harder for her each day. I’ve done my research and read online the signs of when it’s time to say goodbye to your pet but it doesn’t really sink in. It feels too personal and I can’t yet see the forest through the trees. They say to look at your pet as a stranger would see them. I’ve done that and it’s upsetting when I catch a glimpse of how thin and frail my Daisy has become. They say look into her eyes. I’ve done that too and it shames me to say that deep down I can see her eyes telling me she’s done, she’s had enough. Still I wonder if I know this for certain. It’s confusing to me when Daisy's able to go outside on her own, walk to her water bowl on her own, even sometimes still get up in the bay window and watch for me to come home. It’s confusing when she won’t eat and stares miserably at the floor yet wags her tail and seems happy when I reach down to pet her. It’s confusing when I pet her and she shakes and quietly whimpers yet still has the strength to get up and follow me from room to room. I tell myself I’m not sure, even though I know Daisy is not the same. She’s not the dog I remember, the one full of vim and vigor, barking, grumbling, running, jumping, climbing the apple tree in the backyard, clamoring for attention, gobbling her food, snatching bread or whatever else she can paw off the table. She’s leaving this world and there isn’t a damned thing I can do about it. The hardest part may be in knowing if I make the decision to euthanize Daisy I will be responsible for ending her life. Though I know for her sake I have to change this skewered way of thinking. I have to understand that sometimes the hardest part is doing nothing and the truly loving thing would be to help her find the tranquility she deserves. Hopefully when her time comes my sweet girl will pass peacefully in her sleep, but if that doesn't happen and I have to assist her, I will. I won't wait too long and have her look at me one day and wonder why I'm letting her suffer, wonder if I don't care enough to help her. I want her to know how much I love her and what a good and unique dog I think she is. And I want her to trust that I won’t let her down and that when I know it’s time I'll be there to see her through.

Daisy with thoughts of bread snatching on her mind (3-20-99)

to all my fans out there... ;)

ha ha, actually I only have one No. 1 fan but for anyone else that may want to follow this blog and be notified when I've posting something new...tada! you're in luck, because I've just added "Click here to subscribe to this blog" (located on right side bar). All you have to do (I think) is click on the gray sentence, enter your email address, and then you'll be sent an email to verify subscribing to this blog. Pretty simple really.

Sat. night = good food, good music, good fun

The fun-filled night began with a scrumptious dinner at Mangia Italiano on South Grand and culminated with hearing/seeing the Deadstring Brothers at Off Broadway on Lemp (short clip below) . I was a lucky girl to experience both with two of my favorite people – Mark, and my son Jake. The Deadstring Brothers are a lively, friendly, rollicking group of guys from Detroit, MI, and London, England. I guess their music would best be described as alt-country with a kind of 70s vibe and uncanny Rolling Stones sound (mainly due to the vocals of lead singer Kurt Marschke). I first became familiar with their music while perusing one of my favorite music blogs when I came across the song “Where are all my friends?”  I thought to myself what a great title for a song, so I clicked, listened, and have been a fan of the Deadstring Brothers ever since. When I heard they were coming to St. Louis I was thrilled at the chance to see them live. Their show Saturday night did not disappoint. It was incredible, and after it was over I left an even bigger fan...not only because of their "keep your body moving" music but also because they couldn’t have been more friendly and down to earth. I’ve loved artists for their music before but have at times been disappointed after seeing them perform live (an egotistical Ryan Adams comes to mind) but these guys had it all going on…great music, great artists, and great friends to their fans. How refreshing and fun is that.  

My introduction to the band – "Where are all my friends?"




Live from Saturday night…it’s the Deadstring Brothers

London lads in the band – Brothers Jeff and Spencer Cullum

New BFFs – drummer Travis, bass Jeff, my son Jake

One for the scrapbook – Mark and lead singer Kurt Marschke

Links:
http://www.dineatmangia.com/ (unique yet affordable dining experience…includes a little store where you can buy their fresh made pasta)
http://www.offbroadwaystl.com/ (great St. Louis venue to hear regional and national live music)

L-o-l-a Lola

Emily has informed me (more than once) that when she moves out I’m going to miss her little dog Lola more than I’m going to miss her. hmmm, while sensing perhaps a bit of envy on her part, and while believing what she said is not necessarily true...I do have to admit the little ankle biter (Lola) and I have grown very close over the last two years. Though it took a while to adapt to living with a fur ball on wheels, I finally did, and now…I can’t imagine not.

Miss Lola (or as I like to call her... lolafalana, sugar britches, stinker pup, lil sh*t) has been a handful from the day she was born but just look at that deceivingly sweet little face. No matter how yippy and yappy and irritating she can be (and as she most often is)...how could one resist it? I for one could not. So yes, I am definitely going to miss my furry face friend. And no, I am not looking forward to the day I have to tell her she’s not really my dog. How could I be? I'm still working on telling myself... :*(


It’s a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola.
(courtesy of the Kinks)

Changes are a-comin'

ch-ch-ch-ch changes,
turn and face the strange
ch-ch changes

Seems I've grown at ease with life as it is and even though I know life will always change...I still wish I could hang on to the parts I want to stay the same. There comes a time though when you have to...as the song says, "turn and face the strange". Emily will graduate in May, and though I'm proud and happy for her, life as I know it will change and become somewhat strange...because if Emily has her way (and I'm sure she will) she'll be moving to Texas after graduation to begin her teaching career. It won't be the first time a daughter of mine moved to Texas…my older daughter Mandy has been living there for years. Somehow that doesn't make Emily leaving easier. When she goes I’ll have to face the change of living alone in a house that's never felt like a home with just me in it. But the idea I guess is to turn and face the changes that make us feel strange, stare them down if necessary, and then move on.

Thankfully, many changes in life are welcome ones and I’m happy to have one coming up that I will embrace completely. That special change will happen when I become a grandma with the birth of my first grandbaby in August of this year. He (or she) will come into this world with not only a mom and dad that will work to be good and caring parents but also with an extended loving family on both sides. Sometimes the biggest blessings in life are unexpected. This little baby will be a blessing and a welcome change in our lives. And it is on that positive note that I will close this post. :)

5 things I'm thankful for this week

A thankful state of mind… As I grow older I realize more and more how short and precious life on this earth is. Too often I forget this simple truth and neglect to count my many blessings. The list below of 5 things I'm thankful for this week is my way of counting and remembering some of those blessings, no matter how big or small they may seem.

1. I'm thankful for the great weekend I had and having a good job to return to today
2. I'm thankful for the special man in my life that helped make my weekend great
3. I'm thankful for having a nice dinner with a wonderful family Saturday night
4. I'm thankful my dog Daisy ate like a small horse yesterday, the way she used to :)
5. I’m thankful for enjoying a couple warm and sunny days (in March!)