What happened to love thy neighbor?

Tuesday night I attended the wakes of two old neighbors, Mrs. Dickerman and Mrs. Polley, both of whom I met in childhood. On this night they lay in adjacent rooms at Irwin Chapel, strangers to each other but not to me. They were a link to my past and the kind of life we all once shared. I sometimes look back on that life and miss the times when most everyone used to know...I mean really know, their neighbor.

Jean Dickerman lived on Warnock in a house directly across the white house I lived in when I was born. Neighborhoods were different in the 60s; everything seemed less complicated and more innocent. It was a time of stay-at-home moms keeping close watch on their kids, a time when people shared their life with the families next door or down the street, a time when neighborhood kids played outside in all kinds of weather and made lasting memories together. I was only five when I left Warnock so many of my memories aren't as clear as my siblings but what I do remember about the neighborhood was the families. There was Mr. and Mrs. Warren at the beginning of the street with sons Phillip, Mark, Timothy, Paul, and daughter Pam. There was my mom's best friend Peggy Hefner just a couple houses down from our own, her husband Clay and their two sons, Bryan and David. There was Mr. and Mrs. Ryan next door to them, their son Buddy, daughters Kathy and little Tina (my first playmate). There was the Simms family across the street with mother Dorothy (widowed or divorced I was never sure) and sons Bruce and Alan (my first boy playmate). There was the Lance family, the Nevels family, the McCullough's, and of course the biggest family of all, the Dickerman's. Jean, the matriarch, lived with her husband Speed and a whole slew of kids (6 sons and 3 daughters). The Warnock neighborhood always felt like a safe place to live. The parents looked out for each other and each others kids. Jean Dickerman was one of those parents and on Tuesday night many of the old gang came to pay their respects. Bruce Simms was there, as was Buddy Ryan, the Lance’s, the Warren's, the McCullough's, just to name a few. It was touching to see so many from the old neighborhood come together to pay tribute to Jean and realize the fondness they felt for her as children will live on.

Pat Polley was another neighbor from another street whom I met when I was five and my family moved to Thorngate. I vividly recall standing in the front yard on moving day watching the commotion of people carrying boxes and furniture inside our new house when Pat walked across the lawn holding a little boy’s hand in hers. She bent down to me and said something like "We live next door and my son Billy is the same age as you." I was shy of course but thrilled to learn that someone my age (even if he was a skinny gawky boy) would be living next door. From that day on Billy and I were pals. We ran with endless energy all summer, swinging in the backyard, finding abandoned bird eggs, trying to keep them warm, climbing trees, playing with frogs, all the things young kids did in those “Leave it to Beaver” days. There weren't as many children on Thorngate as there was on Warnock but there were similarities. It was another place where kids grew up knowing their neighbors. In addition to Billy, there were my aunts, uncles, cousins next door and across the street. There was the Copper family, the Greco's, the Woodson’s, Johnny Nash and his cool leather jacket, the Clark's, the Ritchie's, the Presley's and that playa boy Mark with the big hair (jes’ kiddin honey), the Jones family, the Hansfelder’s, and who could forget ornery old man Frederick. It was a great neighborhood to be a kid.

Seeing Bill Polley and others Tuesday night brought back old childhood memories and it made me think of something on my drive home. I thought of how lucky I was to have grown up when I did in two good neighborhoods surrounded by good people who really knew each other and really cared. That's a rare thing nowadays.

1962 - good old days in the Warnock neighborhood

1964 - Life with Suzie on Warnock

1965 - my first playmate Tina Ryan on Warnock.
Tina and I were the same age; her name fit her well.

Late 60s - my stay-at-home mom and her
"That Girl" hairdo on Thorngate :)

Man shower

So, what is a man shower you ask? No, it’s not the image one may conjure up of a manly man taking a hot steamy shower (ok, maybe that’s just me). haha. It’s actually a baby shower for a man, or what some may refer to as a “Diaper Party”. Traditionally baby showers have been for those of the female persuasion but personally I think real men can have showers too. On Saturday, July 24th, Mark and I hosted such a shower in honor of Jake and his baby boy (to be). I'm hoping some day my grandson will look back on a few of the pics below and think “Wow, a shower for dad and me…kind of cool.” Click on collage to expand.

Burned Biscuits

When I was a little child, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"

You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good,the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own."

Thanks for sending me this one Uncle Con. I loved it.
:)

Just another Saturday in scenic Grafton

I've heard it called the "Key West of the Midwest" and though that's stretching it a bit I don't think I'll ever tire of visiting Grafton. Even with all the changes and additions through the years it's still an enjoyable place to go. I have fond memories of going there as a child with mom and feeling like I was somewhere far away and later memories of numerous drives with dad where in addition to soaking up the cliff views and river scenes we'd always be sure to stop at either Beasley's or O'Jan's for fish. Lots of good times in Grafton and hopefully many more to come.

Art is everywhere

I don't remember much about my brief stint in college nearly 30 years ago but I do remember my favorite class -- "Introduction to Art History". I think that's what it was called anyway. English 101 bored me, but this class, and art -- no way. I remember sitting in the back of the dark auditorium mesmerized by the vivid colors and flashing images on screen. While some in class used the occasion for an afternoon siesta I couldn’t have napped if I'd tried. The styles, techniques, and lives of the Impressionist painters and the Post-Impressionism period in general made me want to know more. Some of my favorites of that period were Morisot, Cassatt, Renoir, Seurat, and of course van Gogh, who interested me not only for his method of using vibrant colors and swirls (which I thought were strange but beautiful) but also for the tragic circumstances of his life and death. How sad his brilliant work wasn't recognized during his lifetime. It makes me wonder if he had even the slightest inkling of his talent or how treasured his art would come to be. If I had one talent (I don't) but if I had just one…I’d wish it to be in some form of art. I can’t think of any gift more God given or meaningful.

Art of today is more open to interpretation I think. But is it everywhere like some say? If you look at something long enough and hard enough is it there? Is it in the street, in a tree, in a door, how about a window, a hand, maybe your feet? Personally, I don't think just anything is art but I believe there are too many times when it is there and we simply don't see.


song by Mojave 3 "My Life in Art"

Go away empty nest syndrome

Now that my last little birdie has flown the coop things seems rather strange. The last week or so I’ve been trying to put my finger on why I’ve felt so tired, so listless, so lifeless of late. I’m not sure when it began but at least now I think I know what it is...that creepy little phenomenon called “empty nest syndrome”, aptly named for it involves an empty, sad and lonely feeling. It’s ironic in a way because when my kids were young and still in “let's-drive-mom-crazy” mode I used to dream about the day they'd all be grown and I’d be “free”, free from the every day chaos, free from the overwhelming responsibility, free from...them. And if anyone ever mentioned "ens"  in my presence I would laugh and joke (and fully believe) that I’d never be cursed with such a thing and when the time came for my birdies to fly away I’d be perfectly fine, just dandy, kind of free as a bird myself. Boy was I smug…and wrong. Recently I’ve read up on the “whats and whys and how to get rid ofs” this syndrome but sadly there doesn’t seem to be an instant fix or cure.

It’s something that’s going to take time and effort on my part with a few “have tos” along the way. Have to keep busy and resist the urge to call, email, or contact my offspring every single day, because I know the more I cling the less likely they’ll want to be in contact with me and that…I just can’t fathom. (I'm gonna need some luck with this one). Have to learn not to smother or control or try and direct their lives. (Because it is their lives and not mine). Have to understand that as much as I dislike the sadness that creeps up now and then from their absence I definitely do not want “boomerang children". (A whole other conundrum a parent can face). Have to lighten up and remember they are all capable adults, and good ones. (They don't need -- or want my advice all the time). Have to accept it’s time to transfer responsibility for their lives from me to them. (Because that's how it should be). And maybe most important of all to rid myself of this empty nest syndrome -- have to believe "this too shall pass" because as the quiet Beatle sings in his song below, it must.

	George Harrison - All Things Must Pass .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

I created a monster...

I enjoy taking pictures and after watching my uncle's home movies I now have an interest in taking video. I suspect my enthusiasm has rubbed off on my boyfriend Mark because he now shares that interest. So much so that I think I created a monster...and I mean that in the most endearing way. :) We're not very good at this movie making business yet but we're determined to learn, and if Mark has anything to say about it, we will, with lots and lots and lots of practice [sigh]. My initial plan for having a camcorder was to document the upcoming birth/life of my first grandchild. That, plus other special occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries, family reunions and so on. Mark though has other plans for our new camcorder. He wants to document...everything.

This past Saturday we set out early with the camcorder in hand making stop after stop along the way. By our last one (not sure of the time but it was near dark) I was a smidgen irritated with the tiny cam consistently pointed in my direction. Well, not really; I'm kind of a ham... no wait, that's Mark. But anyway, by early evening I was tired, crabby, and simply wanted the "thing" off. I'm fairly certain though that as the years go by I will be grateful to my videographer pal for his dogged persistence in capturing the every day moments of our lives. Actually, truth be told, I think I already am...maybe because time has made me realize that the moments we live only happen once and when they're gone, they're gone. At least on film, in a way we can live them again.   

Mark and Nancy's Saturday Stops (w/ links and mini-reviews):

J Fires Restaurant in Waterloo
http://www.jfires.com/home.html
I like the clean town of Waterloo. J Fires is a nice restaurant with pretty interior, good food, and a fantastic outdoor arbor. I love how the leafy vines cover the top and hang down the sides providing shade and as our waitress informed us...a 10 degrees cooler temp. They have yummy strawberry wine here that taste just like...strawberries -- so good it's like drinking candy. I highly recommend this place.

Schorr Lake Winery in Waterloo
http://www.schorrlakevineyard.net/
An interesting winery with a really pretty lake (Schorr Lake) but with a strange vibe and slightly off putting atmosphere. Could it be the unfriendly owners (or employees) that made me feel intrusive? I don't know but this place has huge birds and semi-starved cats and when I was told I couldn't feed one of the latter I liked the place even less. I probably won't be going back (unless to rescue a bony cat).

Molly's in Soulard
http://www.mollysinsoulard.com/
Molly's has a large outdoor bar area that has become even larger since they acquired Norton's next door. For sentimental reasons I wish they had left Norton's as it was but it's still a pretty cool place to visit when in Soulard.

Chava's in Soulard
http://www.chavasmexican.com/
Best Mexican food around. Love this place, especially the De Guadalajara plate (tacos) and of course the friendliest waiter in town Steven...aka Jude Law. :)

Mangia Italiano in South City
http://www.dineatmangia.com/
Love love love, did I say LOVE their food! They make their own pasta here and the freshness shows. I've never had a bad meal at Mangia and with it being on South Grand it's a fun place to be. Hopefully I'll return again and again.

***
Ok, now for a little background on the video below (narrated mostly by Mark). It includes approximately 12 minutes of the nearly 45 minutes taken on Saturday and all will be thankful I'm sure for my amateur -- although effective -- editing skills (as I managed to cut off at least a good half hour of the original). What's left is a bit shaky here and there but as I said before we're still learning. Now available for your perusing pleasure (or not) is..."I Created a Monster".

Must be a blue moon tonight...

Must be a blue moon tonight because I'm feeling blue...but also strangely proud. Proud that my daughter has grown up and decided to take a chance and unlike her mother not always play it safe. She's decided to develop her own ideas about what she wants to do with her life, throw caution to the wind, take a deep breath and step outside of the box. Imagine that. I love you Emily and will be forever proud you're my daughter.

Blue Moon by the Mavericks

I heard a great song today

On my way to work this morning I heard a song on KDHX that made me stop and listen. The song, released in 1975, was "Wake Up Everybody" by Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes (lead vocals by the late great Teddy Pendergrass). This is a short post for a melodic song with an uplifting message (listen below). Wouldn't it be great if we all listened?

June Recap

Time for another monthly recap. June began with a week of rotating family and friends in the Ozarks, followed by a super busy week back at work, then on to a June wedding (Mike and Kaleigh’s), next seeing Emily off to Texas (and having full responsibility of Lola, oh boy), hanging out with Mark on weekends, and finally attending my future grandson’s baby shower. One thing I like about blogging is being able to document life (with words, pictures, video) and then going back and remembering the highlights...which with my memory is a very good thing.

So this is where Paul Cotton's been hiding

Seems my favorite member of still one of the best bands out there (Poco) spends a lot of time in Key West. Who could blame him? I'd sure follow him there. From the first time I saw Paul Cotton back in Jan '06 I've loved everything about this man, his voice, his stage presence, his personality. And from the many times I've seen him since I feel even more of the same about him. Paul is one of the nicest, most unassuming and unpretentious artists I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Hopefully he'll be with Poco again on the following dates. If not, I may just have to sacrifice and make a trip to the Keys (haha, I wish).

Paul Cotton and Poco performing "In The Heart Of The Night" -
Solid Gold 1982


Paul Cotton playing again "In The Heart Of The Night" - Poco Live 2004

It's raining babies...

Erin's baby shower was on Sunday and her family and friends did a great job of making the 2+ hours fun for everyone. So many people are eagerly anticipating the birth of this special baby boy (my grandson). I, myself can't wait to meet him. 43 days and counting!

Saturdays in summer

Saturdays in summer are great. It's the one day of the week where I'm free to sleep in as late as I want and stay up as late as I want. I usually don't do either but it's good to know there's one day I could. Sometimes I feel a bit guilty for not using my Saturdays to do the "little" things I should be doing (keeping my house up, yard work, cleaning out closets, that sort of un-fun stuff). But when the opportunity arises, especially in the summer, I'm ready to drop that guilt like a hot potato. Ouch! Besides, isn't all that "un-fun" stuff what winter's for?

Below are some pictures from this past Saturday when Mark and I started the day early by going to the Farmer's Market in Tower Grove Park. From there we went to Villa Marie Winery where we had a nice lunch and bottle of wine. Wine is another thing I love to do in the summer...

Missing Merz

Sometimes when reading a blog continuously over a period of time it almost feels as if you begin to know the writer of the blog personally (even though in reality they are a complete stranger to you). I guess in a way that makes sense because reading someone’s posts are a little like peeking into their private diary (with permission). As someone who is always in search of new music I’m a big follower of music blogs. I visit a handful of them on a consistent basis and others I only skim once in a while. One music blog I found myself returning to nearly every day was called "Mars Needs Guitars" (MNG, for short).

In the beginning I would visit the MNG blog simply because the blogger and I seemed to have the same taste in music. I have to admit I would often ignore his posts about the artists and merely grab the free downloadable music he so generously supplied. Then one day I read, really read, what the blogger had to say and noticed he wasn’t really writing much about the music. He was more often than not writing about his life and there was something in his words and tone that caught my interest. He seemed to me like the saddest person in the world and it touched me. After reading his profile stats (late 40s, divorced, male, went by the name Merz, lived in Melbourne, FL, etc) I felt by his writing that he seemed to be a man spiraling downward and possibly out of control. From that point on I frequented his music blog more for words than for music.

Merz (as I thought of him now) continued to write bits about the music he loved but mostly he wrote about struggling with his depression and a lack of motivation and direction in life. He would talk about days at a time where he could barely pull himself out of bed in the morning. He would talk about how hard it was just to be and write and in his writing he made the reader (myself for one anyway) feel what he felt, like what was the point of it all, what were we all doing, where were we going, and why. Comments left from other readers were mostly sympathetic to his plight. They thanked him for his great music blog. Some even offered suggestions or ways they thought could help but nothing seemed to lift Merz up. Once I tried myself to offer positive words but failed with no response. I don’t know anything about the life of this man, what he did/does for a living; I’m not sure he did anything at all, but some times days and weeks would go by when he would stop doing what I knew him to do. He would stop posting music, he would stop writing words, he would as far as his readers knew simply disappear. And then eventually he would return and in a new post mildly apologize for his long absence. It seemed he was apologizing for being sick, to strangers, and that to me seemed the saddest thing of all. The “Mars Needs Guitars” blog doesn’t exist any more and I’m not sure why. Merz shut it down a year or so ago. Maybe he grew tired of confiding in strangers or perhaps even grew tired of the music. Every once in a while I’ll still search for his blog in hopes that it’s back up and his mental health has improved. But after clicking the old link today and seeing his message I'm sad to say I don't believe that's so. http://www.marsneedsguitars.com/

Sunset at The Oasis

Emily and Holly arrived in Austin in the wee hours of the morning and in a matter of just a couple hours the lucky dogs will be sitting on one of the 40+ decks of The Oasis Restaurant overlooking beautiful Lake Travis while waiting for the sun to go down. The Oasis is known world wide for its' spectacular views of blazing sunsets and if I ever make it back to Austin I'll be there to see another one. http://www.oasis-austin.com/ 

The Oasis Restaurant - Sunset Capital of Texas

(450 feet above Lake Travis)

View of beautiful Lake Travis from The Oasis

A "not so traditional" wedding

I went to a kind of non-traditional wedding this past weekend. I wasn’t sure what to expect because several times I heard “it’s not going to be a traditional wedding” and well, it wasn’t -- but in a way it was. I mean, it had a bride (a woman), a groom (a man), bridesmaids, groomsmen, a flower girl (in matching mini bride dress), a ring bearer (in matching mini groom tux) and I think somewhere in there I even heard the word “obey” uttered (followed by a loud guffaw or two). Do they really still say that…is that even legal?? This wedding also had a reception, a cake, even an ice sculpture. So what was so "not so traditional" about it? I don’t know. The bridesmaids dresses were black but I think that’s ok now and personally I love black. The groom's hat had a long green feather sticking out of it but is that so crazy? Some of the bridesmaids wore large colorful tattoos but that’s pretty common now days too. Maybe it was the wedding and reception taking place in the same room. But aren’t so many things being consolidated these days to save time, money, space? Why not weddings? Maybe it was the music that made this wedding a little different, or the way the bride made her appearance to the beat of a Bob Marley song saying something about “don’t worry, everythings gonna be alright” (the traditional wedding march, it was not). Maybe it was the shared laughter of the wedding party, audience members, and even the preacher himself during the entire ceremony. Maybe it was the light silly mood and un-seriousness of it all. Some may think of such a wedding as a mockery of what is usually a serious (even somber) occasion. Getting married is a serious thing; that’s true. But is it really so important how one goes about it? Today we have underwater weddings (wow), weddings held in a hot balloon (no way), skydiving weddings (no earthly way!), pirate weddings (arrrgh!), bungee jumping, zombie weddings...so on and so forth. I don't believe there is a wrong or right way. As long as the two people taking the giant step feel good about it, as long as it’s “right for them”, does the rest of it really matter? After all, traditional weddings like any other don’t guarantee success. Personally, I think the success of a marriage (or lack of) is more about what comes after. Maybe that's where the seriousness should really begin.

Couple taking their underwater vows, in which they promised to dive with each other even when they get too big for their wetsuits.

I'm baaaaack!

Did anyone miss me? Uh, never mind. Though I’ve been back from vacation for almost a week...returning home to a broken A/C unit, being sick, having a super busy week at work, and other daily distractions...has caused a vacation posting delay. So without further ado, here’s a slideshow of our week in the Ozarks.

(Warning:  it's a long one -- you may wanna grab a bowl of popcorn or something) :)

After returning from a night out we found this critter in our lake house (on the carpet in the girl’s bedroom…eeek!!). At first glance, we thought it was a strange looking mouse without a tail. At second glance, we discovered it was a BAT!! Yuk! (click on his pic for a better look). Wish I had a video of us girls screaming and running for our lives…ha ha! Thanks to Fred for capturing the little guy and setting him free outside. Whew!

Vacation videos to come (hopefully)…

Dog days of summer...literally

Tomorrow I'm off for a week of fun in the sun (or rain) with friends, family...and dogs. Oh boy. :)

May Recap

Bye bye May. Hard to believe but another month of 2010 -- gone. This month was a busy one and as usual flew by like the rest. The thing I like most about the month of May is that with the passing of Memorial Day it is now officially ok to wear white. :) Slideshow below includes a few highlights of the past month.

Happy Birthday Happy Birthday la-la-la-la-la-la!

Mel's 2nd birthday...was she a cutie or what! :)

Today is Mel's 56th birthday and I can't think of anyone who deserves to have a happier one. Mel's my big sis, my friend, my "mother hen". Nothing means more to her than family and in a way she's the glue that holds us all together (even though she doesn't realize it). A true blue person with a heart of gold -- that's Mel. And Mel I'm not saying that because you're my sister; I'm saying it because it's true. You're a great sister and I'm glad you're mine. Happy Happy Birthday!! I love you! 

Mel and I on Warnock Street, 1963

My yard sale mom

Today was mom's umpteenth yard sale. She says it was her last and I say "I sure hope she means it this time." The last three or four yard sales were her last also so I don't know. I have my doubts. Yard sales in my opinion are a BIG pain in the butt. Sorting, pricing, folding, hanging, bending, lifting, sitting, standing, sweating, aching, wheeler-dealer-ing, and then after it's all over figuring out what to do with and where to put all the leftover crap. Like I said, a pain. Mom's been a yard sale queen for as long as I can remember. She gives them and she goes to them. Sometimes I think she goes to them to accumulate more stuff to give them. I'll never forget the times she talked me into tagging along on one of her typical bargain hunts. Oh yeah, those 6 am Saturday morning yard sales...loved 'em (not!). I'd take my own car (for a possible quick getaway) and meet her at "the yard". Sometimes we'd go to huge neighborhood sales involving every couple houses in an entire subdivision. We'd stop at one, hop in the car, stop at another, hop back in the car, me all the while following and trying to keep up with her spinning wheels. I can still feel my face turn red when I recall her actual peel outs to the next house. Yes, mom is/was a Yard Sale-A-Holic. She couldn't pass up a bargain if her life depended on it. She's a hoot, my mom, but I can't imagine her any other way. 

Emily holding up her future wedding dress. ha-ha

Who buys a wedding gown at a yard sale anyway? Apparently no one...this one didn't sell.

What does it mean to love?

Todd Rundgren wants to know and what a great song he wrote about it. It's called "The Verb to Love". Many may know Todd by his hit songs of the 70s -- "Hello It's Me" or "I Saw The Light". Though great songs I think they barely touch the real genius of the man. A successful record producer, singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist -- this skinny white man of soul can sing his a** off!

Forever a funky dresser (and his outfit in the video below is no exception) Todd gives his all in a live version of "The Verb to Love", a bit of blue-eyed soul at its best. From the first time I heard this song (thanks to Mark) I absolutely loved it.



The Verb to Love
(from Todd's 1976 album Faithful)

Some people tell me that love is a feeling
or a possession
Somehow it seems so cold
And when they say love is sweet,
does it mean that you eat it?
Maybe you drink it,
does it fill up an empty hole?

I'm lookin' for a love and I may not find it
You know it doesn't mean a thing
without some action behind it

Please come home
I can hear them calling
Please come home
Please don't leave us all alone
Your mama and your papa are crying all alone
You better let it magnetize, learn to sacrifice
'Til we get the true version of
The meaning of the verb 'To Love'
What does it mean to love?

And when somebody needs love,
do they spend some money?
Say something funny,
ask for some tenderness?
And when you wanna touch of love,
do you lie on your back?
Stand on your head,
how do you feel it best?
I'm looking for a love with no strings attached
To take me like I am, that's the only catch

Please come home
I can hear them calling
Please come home
Please don't leave us all alone
Your wife and your lover are crying all alone
You better let it magnetize, learn to sacrifice
'Til we learn the true version of
The meaning of the verb 'To Love'

Does it mean any more,
the more you talk about it
Is it anymore real
if you jump around and shout it
I'm sick and tired of hearing
'bout everyone without it and
Too much talkin' sends me walkin'
Night is falling and everybody's calling for love
Everybody's lookin' for their one and only
It's only just a game 'cause they're scared to be lonely

Please come home
I can hear them calling
Please come home
Please don't leave us all alone
Your brothers and your sisters are crying all alone
You got let it magnetize, learn to sacrifice
'Til we get the true version of
The meaning of the verb 'To Love'
What does it mean to love?

The Mighty Mississippi

Mark and I spent a little time strolling along the Landing last Saturday. After visiting Sundeckers we decided to walk down to the river and see how much the mighty Missisippi had risen. Many songs have been written along the banks of this river, many stories told, sketches drawn, photographs taken. Click below to hear one of those songs by a girl named Lissie, a singer from Rock Island, Illinois.

"Oh Mississippi"

I don't think anyone will be valet parking for a while.

There once was a road here.

Home in the country with Jesus

A year ago today dad went home. I'll never forget the day he let me know he was going. We were in his hospital room waiting for the ambulance to take him back to the house he'd lived in for over 40 years. I sat on his hospital bed when he said "it's a long way isn't it?" I was confused at first thinking he meant the drive from Alton Memorial to Granite. Then when he asked how I would see him and I saw his expression and childlike worry I realized it wasn't home to Granite he meant at all. In his confused state he thought he was returning to his boyhood home in the country and in his own way he understood he was going alone. Always a country boy at heart he longed to return there and in my mind that's where he is now, the country he yearned for and belonged to, his home in the country with Jesus. And he was right -- it is a long way but with faith and hope in my heart I believe I'll see him there some day.

This slideshow made in honor of dad shortly after his passing last year brings painful feelings of loss but also celebration and affirmation of his life. As Mel said so well -- losing dad left a void in our lives that can never be filled. It's comforting to know though he will live on in the hearts of those who loved him, forever.

Though in my heavenly country home,
I am closer than you know.
Believe that when you say my name,
I am standing next to you;
And know that when your time comes,
I’ll be there to take your hand,
And together we will be in God’s eternity

Is it Vacation yet?

Boy, what a long week it's been. All work and no play makes me feel (and look) like the little green guy above, fuzzy purple house slippers and all. TGIF tomorrow! The weatherman says it's going to be sunny and in the 80s this weekend and I say "It's about Time!" :)  Looking forward to a beautiful weekend...and only16 more days till Vacation!!! Yippie ki yay! Can't wait! 

Is it Saturday yet?...

Only one more day until Midlake. I am so excited about seeing this band! I've heard them compared to Fleetwood Mac, Radiohead and Jethro Tull....Jethro Tull? I hear the flute in many of their songs but to me they sound more like...Midlake, a band with a unique style and sound totally their own. I'm hoping to hear a few specific songs I know such as "Head Home" (below), but if not, that's ok because whatever they play I have a feeling I won't be disappointed. I have a feeling they're gonna be GREAT!

Loss of the familiar

Well in a short time Emily will be leaving for Texas... and then what? I knew this year was going to be about change, knew it was around the corner, and knew I wouldn't be ready for it when it came. Is anyone ever ready to let go of a special period in their life, to let it just become a memory? I came home from work today, walked into Emily's room, and boom... there it was, change. Pictures taken off the wall, shelf down, little table gone. I thought of two years ago when Emily and I decorated the room together. And I thought of how everything that's become so familiar the last two years would soon be gone. Yesterday Emily asked if I was as sad when Mandy moved away. I told her I didn't remember; it seemed so long ago. I'm sure I was but maybe in a different way. When Mandy left I knew I wasn't finished being a parent, not that a parent is ever "finished"... but maybe now I'm just less..."needed"? I don't know. Maybe I need to remember it's ok to feel this way. I think it's called the "empty nest syndrome" or something like that. Maybe all I have to do is remember it's normal and do like the picture above says...let go, trust, and love. Maybe.

Congrats to Emily!

Wow, time flies so fast. It seems only yesterday I was thinking to myself that Emily has one more year before graduation and now in a blink of an eye that year is over. Life is truly a journey and as Emily travels along her life she continues to make me proud every day. Below is a poster showing her journey to date and also a slideshow from her graduation party at Rivers Edge Saturday night.

Click poster twice to magnify.

Note: slideshow below has sound.

To a one-of-a-kind mom

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to my wonderful one-of-a-kind MOM!!!
(and, no mom I don't want anything)... ;)

This man can sing...

Steve Dawson sang his beautiful soulful heart out Saturday night at Off Broadway. Unfortunately I forgot my camera so I have no little videos of my own to prove it. Drats! At any rate, Steve's voice was clear as a bell and I found myself mesmerized by it from the moment I walked in the door. Love Love Loved it!

Here's a cool "old film" video of a song from Steve's latest album called 
"I Will Miss the Trumpets and Drums". It appears to be made just for the song. I love the way the two complement each other.



Simple Pleasure by Steve and his band Dolly Varden

April Recap

Bye bye April. I love the month of April. Officially spring may begin in March but April is spring to me. And even though it means the beginning of grass cutting season (ugh) it’s still my favorite month of the year. It’s a big birthday month in my family beginning with my dad’s birthday on the 12th, mine on the 14th, and my brothers on the 30th. And now there's two more birthdays to celebrate in April -- Mark’s mom on the 15th and his sister Deb on the 22nd. Whew, thatsalotta birthdays!! The following slideshow is a recap of some of the birthdays and other miscellaneous happenings in April 2010.

Happy Birthday Big Brother!

Today is Jeff’s 54th birthday. I could go on and on about what a great brother I think he is -- No, what a great brother I KNOW he is…but I’ll just say this. My big brother has the biggest heart of any guy I know and he’s always there when you need him. Jeff’s not only a wonderful brother; he's a wonderful person. He reminds me a lot of our dad. :) Happy Birthday Sneffke! I love you!!! 

Jeff making ice cream when he was about three

Jeff about four years later (with his little sis, me)

All Things Will

I’ll never forget the first time I heard Will Johnson sing. I was at home listening to streaming radio on my computer and getting ready to go out for the evening when I heard a man’s unusual voice. I suddenly stopped and thought to myself “who in the world…?”  I looked at the screen to see who it was and thought “wow, he’s different and I like him…a lot.”  That “like” of Will Johnson and his music in time turned into an enduring love and appreciation for this underappreciated singer/songwriter. What I heard on my computer that evening was called “Just to Know What You’ve Been Dreaming” (listen below).



A pretty and romantic song, yes -- but it wasn’t so much the song that grabbed my attention as it was the emotion and singing style of the artist singing it. I’ve since heard album after album of Will’s music and have to say he’s one of my favorite artists and one with an ability to invoke raw feeling. Some people (and they know who they are) like to tease and say I love “sad bastard” music, meaning slow and morose type songs (you know, the kind you could cut your wrist by). While I have to admit that yeah sometimes that is true I also appreciate variety a great deal and that's exactly what I get from multifaceted Will Johnson. He’s a true talent, a solo performer who doesn’t just write meaningful songs; he’s also the front man for his two bands, Centro-matic and South San Gabriel. Centro-matic, with the same four members for fifteen years, is the slightly more rock of the two. South San Gabriel includes the same members, plus various rotating guests and is more of an outlet for Will’s quieter introspective songs. Whether he’s playing music solo or with one of his two bands, with Will Johnson…it’s all good.

I’ll never forget the first time I saw Will Johnson perform live. A few years back, Mark and I drove to Kansas City with the sole intention of seeing the band “The Bottle Rockets”, which we did. But when we discovered Centro-matic was playing the same night across the state line, we knew we had to somehow see both bands. Lucky for us the Bottle Rockets played an early show so after catching them in KC (KS) we hopped in the car and rushed to see Centro-matic at a place called The Record Bar in KC (MO). We made it in “record” time and a short while later in walked the subject of this post. I had never seen Will Johnson in person before but knew it was him right away. He came in quietly and unpretentiously blended with the crowd and seemed happy just to be there. Will’s music isn’t the only thing I like and admire about him. I like the fact that he’s friendly, approachable, and just a regular guy. He’s a man of small stature (literally) but after seeing him perform with his band Centro-matic that night he couldn’t have been any larger in my eyes. They were great then and they’ve been great the many times we’ve seen them since.

After witnessing much live music the last few years it’s amazing to me the quantity of untapped musical talent there is out there. And what I find even more amazing is that many mainstream and famous artists today don’t hold even a smidgen of the talent of someone like Will Johnson. Somehow that doesn’t seem right but something tells me Will probably doesn’t mind too much. I think he’s happy being a regular guy writing remarkable songs, performing with his bands, kicking his leg up, and singing with all the heart and soul he alone owns. Oh and how very happy that makes me.

Centro-matic the band
http://www.centro-matic.com/







Will singing the song “Atlanta” in his characteristically heartfelt way.

2007 - Will and Mark, taken at the Record Bar in KC, the first time we saw Centro-matic

Will and I

(at Off Broadway in St. Louis)

If I could add one line to Will’s song “Just To Know What You’ve Been Dreaming”, a line that sums up my feelings for his music...it would be:

I would walk a thousand miles just to hear what you’ve been singing…

The Dog Page

Ok, I admit it; I'm a little ate up with dogs. And that's the reason why I've created "The Dog Page" (right column) -- a place where I can post dog-related videos, pictures, etc.

The first item on the page is a little video made over a year ago. It stars Daisy, Winnie, and Lola (the orig. three stooges). Watching it makes me recall with a smile the many "battles of the bone" between the three of them. Whether they each had their own bone or not, they'd always end up fighting over the same one. (Video includes music so if you're at work it may be a good idea to turn your sound down before clicking).

The page will be updated sporadically so check back once in a while for all things dog related. ruff...

a dog named Winnie

I love dogs. I always have. Life with them can be challenging at times but always interesting. The thing I love most about dogs is, like people, they have their own quirks and personalities. I know a dog name Winnie who has plenty of both.
 
Winnie entered my life as a kind of fluke, a simple twist of fate you might say. One day at work (many moons ago) my co-worker Paula was browsing the Internet looking for her mom a dog. It was slow that day and being a bit bored I decided to help her look. I went to http://www.petfinder.com/ and as I sat scrolling merrily along a rather odd looking critter caught my eye. Actually, not just odd looking; more like downright ugly. I thought to myself “What the heck kind of dog is THAT?” I called Paula over to my desk and we both had a good chuckle over its picture. It looked like a rather small dog with wild straggly hair and a head way too big for its body. And its eyes...they were barely discernable, almost like it didn’t have any. After my initial amusement, and the more I sat and looked at it, the sorrier I began to feel for this creature. I thought “Who in the world is going to adopt this strange dog named Winnie?”  hmmm, who indeed.

It was never my plan to get a second dog. I have a friend who thinks nothing of living with 3 or 4 dogs. Not me. I'd always lived with only one at a time. But there was something about this dog and after reading she would be at PetSmart’s “Adopt-A-Pet-Day” the following Saturday I completely forgot about finding a dog for Paula's mom. I was going to PetSmart! That fateful Saturday found me there bright and early standing in line with other pet parent wannabes. I thought it amusing we had all arrived before the pets. We weren’t excited! :)  Suddenly I wondered if others were waiting in line for Winnie too, a little competition maybe?

Finally a couple vans pulled up outside PetSmart and still waiting with anticipation I watched as one by one the critters were brought in. I kept thinking “Winnie’s just got to be next.”  But no, dog after dog came through the door (and some very cute dogs at that) but no Winnie. Finally after convincing myself I had the date or place wrong, one last woman came in, or I should say was heaved in by a big hairy over-exuberant beast dog?! My first thought was “No, that can’t be my Winnie!”  This dog was too big, too strong, too boisterous, too crazy!!! But I was wrong. It was Winnie, the one and only dog of her kind. What kind I’m not sure. All I knew was she was a force to be reckoned with and much bigger than her picture had led me to believe. All of a sudden it hit me; her head wasn’t too big for her body at all. It was actually quite proportionate with the rest of her.

As I said, I love dogs, all shapes, all sizes but the funny thing is I had never had a large dog before, ever. My previous pets were all pretty much poodle-sized (and not the Standard kind). So when I first eyed Winnie I was taken aback and felt deceived…she was not the small creature with an oversized head so deserving of my pity. It was the camera angle that fooled me. And though she did have wild crazy hair she really wasn’t all that ugly. How strangely disappointed was I that she wasn't as pitiful as her picture? Disappointed enough to consider leaving without giving her a second thought. And as I turned to do so, I looked back and saw her, along with the other dogs, being put into separate cages for all to eww and aww over. I hesitated and quickly realized no one else was going to give Winnie a second thought either. Of all the dogs, she was the only one not being taken out to be checked out, petted, played with. Dogs smaller and dogs larger were being considered but not Winnie. My heart sank as she lost her earlier exuberance and sat still and unnoticed in her cage. And the look on her face? How could no one see it? Winnie to this day can still get that same look, a look that can bore through you, a look that hurts. That day I knew by her expression she understood she was being passed over…again. Suddenly, I found myself debating whether to leave the store empty handed...or not. Thoughts danced around my head…could I handle a dog like her, is she really too big, did I just feel sorry for her, would it be a mistake, should I check her out, should I escape now before it’s too late, what oh what should I do? My undoing was that look. I couldn’t get it out of my head.

So I stayed and I asked an assistant to bring Winnie out of her cage. I told myself that if this was a good dog (no matter her size, or her looks), I’d give her a chance and I’d take her home. Well, imagine my surprise when this creature, who appeared so forlorn and alone in her cage, suddenly sprang to life again -- like a rocket! She pulled me through the aisles so hard I thought my arm would surely fall off. I'm sure my feet left the ground. As I tried to reign Winnie in, calm her down, make eye contact, get to know her, etc, she continued to burst with joy at being free (or as free as she was going to get in a PetSmart store). After having enough of this and thinking WHOA, no way can I handle this one… she suddenly settled down. I’m not sure why. Maybe she sensed my displeasure with her behavior or maybe she just wore herself out. Whatever the reason, I was finally able to bend down and meet her eye to eye and what I saw look back at me was an incredibly sweet dog just a bit too excitable for her own good. I wondered if that had been her undoing. If that’s why at two years old she was still (or possibly once again) homeless.

Fast forward nine or so years and Winnie is still incredibly sweet. She’s a dog that’s eager to please but doesn't always know how. The first day I brought her home I discovered she was a fence jumper. And not because she wants to run away. But because she wants to run. It's in her blood. It's her favorite thing to do and she never wants to stop. Winnie is older now but still a trickster who will bolt out the door when you least expect it. And she's a game player who loves nothing more than looking in the door from the outside, pretending to want  in, and as soon as you get up to let her in, takes off running again. Winnie is many things. She's a sensitive dog so petrified of storms that she will hide shaking under the bed for hours. She's also a pure-hearted, goofy, spirited, big lug of a dog, a gentle soul that loves people and has never hurt a living thing. Simply put she's a good dog that wants and deserves to be loved.

I nearly gave Winnie up after she and I left PetSmart that day. After a couple months I almost decided she was too much for me and I almost broke my commitment to her. I went so far as to contact the shelter she came from and when they said they’d love to take her back I remember feeling relieved. But something happened the day I was to take her back. I’m not sure what. All I know is I couldn’t give up on her and after all these years she’s still with me. Sometimes the best dogs get the least attention and that's always been true of Winnie. I know she still doesn't get the attention she deserves, maybe in part because she is so undemanding of it. She's an unselfish dog always willing to take second place. She's a dog that deserves to be first. Sometimes I wonder if by adopting Winnie all those years ago I unknowingly did her an injustice. Sometimes I wonder if she had gone home with someone else would she have been happier? Would she be living on a farm and running free in the country somewhere right now? But then I remind myself that when she does jump the fence or bolts out the door she always comes back to me. And the crazy thing is of all the places she runs she never runs far.

This is Winnie, a beautiful dog, inside and out.

Winnie and a baby Lola competing in a

"fiercest face" contest...I think Winnie won.

aww, you know Winnie has a soft heart

when she can love even a stinker like Lola. :)